Finally, in May, the troubled 37th was sent to guard the military prison at Alton, Illinois. There, the Greybeards refined their incompetence into an art. During a single month, the Greybeards allowed 23 Confederates to slip past them and escape to the South. Nevertheless, Federal inspectors beheld the Greybeards with the same reverence as did the prisoners at Gratiot Street.

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Kincaid had no time for his “hydrant drills” at Alton Prison. By this time, something had to be done about his son, Charles. Kincaid managed to secure him a commission in the 3d Arkansas Infantry (African Descent), later the 56th U.S. Colored Infantry. Perhaps he should not have bothered; Charles eventually would collect three dishonorable discharges, and it would require a postwar act of Congress to get him a pension.

It was at Alton that the ambitious Kincaid found a way to exploit guard duty for financial gain. Newly arriving Confederate prisoners turned in their money, expecting to have it returned to them upon their release from prison. When they handed in gold, Kincaid repaid them in greenbacks. Meanwhile, the gold, along with any increase in its value, went into Kincaid’s prison fund. Colonel William Hoffman, the commissary general of prisoners, ordered Kincaid’s financial speculation to cease, and the Iowan, for a change, meekly obeyed the order.

As December arrived, Baker asked the War Department to send the Greybeards to the military prison at Rock Island, Illinois. The island sat in the middle of the Mississippi, only a few miles north of Camp Strong. Rock Island Prison also sat just across the river from Davenport, where Baker’s office was. Major General John M. Schofield, commander of the Federal Department of the Missouri, obliged Baker’s request and ordered the 37th to Rock Island. This way, Baker reasoned, he could keep a closer eye on the Greybeards.

It was a good thing Baker was nearby; the move to Rock Island prompted an all-out war of wills between Kincaid and Colonel Adolphus J. Johnson, the prison’s fiery commandant. Before the Greybeards even reached the prison, Johnson refused to acknowledge Schofield’s order. Kincaid’s military misfits were not welcome at Rock Island, Johnson asserted, and he would not waste supplies meant for his men on the 37th Iowa.

Kincaid, meanwhile, obeyed Schofield’s order. Denied admission to the Rock Island compound, the Greybeards spent two bitter winter days sitting in their railroad cars. Finally, the post quartermaster disobeyed Johnson and offered rations and shelter–all outside the military post–to the tired, hungry old men. It took a letter from Baker to Stanton to force Johnson to accept the regiment. Even then, Johnson quartered the 37th in a section of the prisoners’ barracks.

Strangely, although they were quite practiced in complaining, not a single Greybeard wrote to Baker about being forced to share quarters with the Rebels. Perhaps they took the opportunity to complain in person–after all, Baker’s office was only a mile away. If they did visit the adjutant general, they no doubt also mentioned that the tyrant Johnson refused to let them keep pigs, as they had done on previous assignments.

If the Greybeards’ failure at Alton had shown a chink in their armor, the entire suit rusted away at Rock Island. According to a report by surgeon August Clark, the 37th was “a regiment of decrepit old men and the most unpromising subjects for soldiers I ever saw.” What is more, wrote Clark, they had no idea of the value of discipline. One night, for instance, a drunken Greybeard, thinking he was being assaulted, shot a recently discharged veteran who merely wanted to embrace his comrade.

Kincaid, now the highest ranking officer at Rock Island, may have entertained thoughts of command there. A local newspaper editor suggested he would. But, like his dream of combat, command of a major prison would elude him. The same inspectors who approved his troops despite their many flaws called Kincaid “altogether too slow and easy…. Under no circumstances [should he] be placed in command.”

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